FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
