Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
