he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
