"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry about my life...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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