Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
