nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
