I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
