Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
