He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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