uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
