he wants to bone in the snuggie
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
