I wish life had little blips of pornography
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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