found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
