I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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