Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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