Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
