I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
