I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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