we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
