when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
