i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
