So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
