I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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