Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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