gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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