i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
