Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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