haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
