Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
