You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
