I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize