Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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