"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just found a bag of teeth...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
