You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
