guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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