im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
