As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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