saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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