you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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