i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I supernannyed him into submission
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
