She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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