please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
