Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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