The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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