mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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