who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
