how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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