Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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