loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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