It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I understand Curling. That high.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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