Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
