break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
