She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
