Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think i got beer on your cat.
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