I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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