love makes seman taste better
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Less talking, more tequila
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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