are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
