Umm I'm too high to move.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
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I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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