You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
