K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
